I knew when making a blog I wanted to have a thoughts tab, now I don’t know what possessed me to want it but I did it, I made one and now here I am posting in it. Honestly, I think that’s why I did it in the first place, to make me share my thoughts with people other than my mom and my roommate and my close friends LOL because why not?! Now, this is not going to be extremely deep stuff like my deepest secrets but it will include thoughts that come to mind from experience or stuff I’m working on and one thought I’d like to talk about now is living in the moment (who knows next I could talk about my thoughts on kale, I mean this is an open ended tab).
I think personally something I’ve really been working on is living in the moment. I learned by my senior year of high school that thinking too far into the future could make you forget to live in the present. In the beginning of my senior year I was worrying about things like college move-in, college in general, what it’ll be like, what will I even study, even things like what will the party scene be like, how I fit in there, and how I make new friends? All of these things kind of clouded being present in my one last year of high school. It got to a point where I was kind of like screw it! Who cares?! It’s not something I can control anyway and from that realization I started to live the rest of my senior year and summer completely happy with where I was, knowing that whatever comes with college will happen! To enjoy the moment I’m in.
Fast forward, I moved in freshman year and got back in my patterns (no surprise, change like that can shake up anyone from being balanced to unbalanced again LOL). I started thinking in the future again, even just as far as a couple of hours, which isn’t always bad but I was more on the track of worrying and obsessing about what would happen in those moments in a few hours. Thoughts of, what if I don’t have fun or what if nobody talks to me or what if its a afternoon or night wasted or the kicker, what if its awkward (which I don’t know why I thought that because I was usually going places with my closest friends but who really knows how the mind works anyway?!).
By not living in the moment fall term and not enjoying the present I knew (and my mom knew from constant phone calls of thinking about transferring) that it was time for a change. This change wasn’t going to come from me switch schools or dropping out, it was going to have to come from changing my mind set! My wise mother made me talk about all my possible fears and made me realize I made them all up in my head. Sure, I might have had an awkward moment or okay night from time to time but by the time I would get home from it I had already moved on from that moment meaning there was no point fearing the possibility of those times, when in reality they are not earth shattering anyway.
I came to the conclusion that I needed to enjoy my freshman year of college because it was going to be one of the most fun years I’d ever have. Looking back on it now I completely agree with that, it was a year I’ll never forget (not that we don’t love sophomore year but there’s nothing like the dorms, freshman year, the new exposure and exciting times)! I’m glad my mom said something because I came back winter term with a completely new perspective, I’m just totally saying “F it! I might as well just live where I am because I’m never going to get a chance to live on that day again” and that’s something I’ve taken with me for every moment. Moments in life, friendships, relationships, school, in moments like even driving in the car! I turn my music on, up loud and sing along! Just living in that moment instead of being like UGH, I wish I was home already! It’s just something to think about, sometimes I feel we get carried away in the fear of the future or the curiosity of what will happen next (which if you do this a lot like me its totally human, gosh dang it for not being a robot… just kidding I like having my feelings). It’s good to remember that we are living in one moment in time. That’s the moment we should be enjoying and being present in because we can’t live our life in the future or the past, we have to live in the now!!
And, if this was totally to cheesy for you and you’re like what is this chick talking about or why does she have a thoughts tab on her blog? Honestly, I don’t know but these are things I think don’t hurt anyone by being talked about as a reminder and just as a life lesson. Maybe someone will be interested by them but if this isn’t for you then by all means I urge you to look at one of my other posts! If it is for you I’m glad we’re in this crazy world together!
XX Love, Mc Kenzie
P.S. I kept singing in my head that Jason Mraz song “Living in The Moment” while writing this. Anyone else thought about that song while reading this post?
Love, Mc Kenzie 